u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize