I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
