she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I am mentally ready for anal.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
