***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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