Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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