He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I have post one night stand depression
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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