...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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