so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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