he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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