who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize