I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
