Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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