Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Let's get the cat blown out
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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