I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
