Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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