after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
