bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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