Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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