Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
