So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
