Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
