this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
