Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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