Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
