Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
