I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
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I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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