my mouth tastes like poor choices
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
