I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
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And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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