I hate your face
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i will never coherently bang her
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
