Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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