This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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