Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize