You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
pop tarts are not kleenex
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
