Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
