What a fucking waste of an outfit
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
