I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
A+ Viking dick
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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