Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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