He kissed a someone with a penis
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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