I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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