Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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