the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
