Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
