I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
