We are two peas in an std pod
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
