wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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