We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
