I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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