I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
