Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
