I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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