Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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