i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
