I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
