I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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