He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
