dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
