I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
