I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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