i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
