You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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