He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
