My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
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How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
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We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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