so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
