we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
