Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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