Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
