But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
