Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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