we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
